Dying inside…

I am dying inside not for emotional reasons, but because I feel like I have so much creative energy that I can’t use and it’s just dying inside me. I LOVE taking pictures. and I mean LOVE LOVE LOVE taking pictures. I just have some crazy feeling that taking pictures is what I was supposed to be doing with my life. BUT I did not go to college to learn how to truly take pictures, I just have a decent camera (thanks to my hubby for kicking off my passion 5 years ago) and love snapping photos of my kids, friends, and family. I have done three major picture taking things outside my comfort zone: Engagement pictures, wedding pictures (a whole other story about that one), and senior pictures. I will have to say that I was pretty proud of the photos that resulted in those three events.  I have yet to invest in backgrounds, floor drops, props, etc but I am leaning closer and closer every day that I need to try. You don’t know you’re good at something unless you try it right? I only like to take pictures either outside or in natural light. I am not a studio kind of gal and don’t ever want to be; those are for the professionals. But I still believe you can get great pictures with just your camera, natural light and a good subject. 🙂 I have included a few pictures below. Thoughts? Comments? Trash Talking?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have also composed a book about mommy related things, published it on Amazon, but to no surprise have gotten no takers. Too many books by mommies, for mommies these days I’m sure mine is just lost in the millions in existence.

I also have written words to what could be a song; a country song at that. It has a great message and almost ANYONE could relate to it. But how does one Assistant Director of Institutional Research go about getting someone to look at her writing? I’m trying to tap into my LA resource of my sister-in-law who has many friends with many different jobs. Fingers crossed that she comes across a song writer or someone in the music biz.

And again…this is why I am dying side. I have SO many ideas and just can’t seem to find the right outlets or measures to successfully move one along. Anyone else feel this way? Don’t get me wrong. I have a GREAT job; a second family. I think I am just burnt out at sitting behind a desk and computer all.day.long day in and day out and not truly feeling fulfilled in my career. I am good at what I do, but I feel there is something else bigger out there waiting for me; I just have to have the courage to try to find it!